The Pros, Cons, and Complications of Breastfeeding

Nobody prepares you for how complicated and difficult breastfeeding is. It’s supposedly the most natural thing in the world next to childbirth but there are so many nuanced things that make it complicated. 

First of all, women’s bodies are absolutely amazing. There’s that meme that says - 

We can make a baby, have a baby, and feed a baby…all without getting out of bed. 

Once we deliver a baby, our hormones signal our mammary glands to start producing milk, working in partnership with the baby’s sucking reflex to get it out and flowing. Apparently, in addition to all the necessary nutrients the baby needs to grow every part of its body, our milk also provides the antibodies needed to protect against diseases. It also naturally increases or decreases depending on how much the baby demands by sucking. There's no denying that this is all amazing.

Of course, many people choose to use formula to feed their babies for various reasons, or a combination of breastfeeding and formula. When I had my first child, I heard a lot of talk from people who seemed to try very hard not to judge or offend when they asked whether I would be breastfeeding or using formula. I decided to try both and soon decided to only breastfeed because I absolutely hated all the aspects of pumping. We kept some formula as backup and I ended up donating my little store of frozen breast milk to another mom who had adopted a baby. 

There are lots of PROS to exclusively breastfeeding. : 

• It's free
• No equipment to clean or store
• Milk is always the right temperature
• More bonding with baby
• No need to store milk
• No wasting undrunk milk (i.e. when you heat 4 oz of formula and drinks 2 oz),
• Prevents lots of diseases in mother (cancer, diabetes, etc.)
• Prevents illnesses in baby (colds, ear infections, etc.)
• Helps mother lose pregnancy weight faster

The most recent recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics is to breastfeed for 2 years but I ran out of milk at 18 months so she naturally had to wean herself. 

However, despite all the benefits, breastfeeding can go wrong in many ways. I’ve had my share of difficulties but luckily haven’t had all of the possible ones (knock on wood). The many CONS of exclusively breastfeeding include:

• Need to buy nursing clothes and bras (I've spent hundreds $$ to boost my wardrobe)
• Limited wardrobe for breastfeeding accessibility
• Too much supply sometimes - leaking and painful engorgement
• Sore muscles from various positions to improve latch
• Sole burden of the mother
• Difficult to maneuver in public
• May need to change diet (i.e. cruciferous vegetables make baby more gassy)
• Painful biting from baby when they grow teeth
• Can’t do certain types of exercise without decreasing supply
• Need to avoid some sleeping positions 
• Can't leave baby for more than a couple hours. 

My main issue has been the “economics of breastfeeding” - supply and demand. Baby demands a certain amount and I supply it. When his demand exceeds my supply, my body quickly catches up and makes more milk. 

The problem is when I am ready to supply a lot but baby’s demand suddenly and drastically drops! I use an app called Baby Tracker to time each feeding, mainly to help me try to equalize the time feeding from each breast so I don't become lopsided, which happened with my first pregnancy.

The problems with my OVER-SUPPLY are - 

1. I become painfully engorged with too much milk so I can’t sleep and am worried about getting a more serious condition (mastitis). 
2. Milk soaks through my brain and clothes. I’m usually too tired or busy to change so I just stuff some Kleenex in there to soak it up. 
3. The more engorged I am (the less baby drinks), the harder it becomes for baby to latch and drink milk because it's like trying to suck a wide inflated balloon. 
4. Then once he latches, he unlatches more often because the milk is coming out with the pressure of a fire hose and spraying him all over, wasting milk and further soaking my clothes. 
5. The gush of milk causes him to swallow more air, which means I have to burp him more often (hard to keep changing baby's position in public with a nursing cover) which means it takes much longer and makes my muscles more sore, and there's more chances of spilled milk or spit-up on me and the baby, which means I may have to change clothes. 

Now I understand why there are breastfeeding rooms, because no matter how fancy a nursing cover is, all these problems and complications make it a nightmare to try to breastfeed in public while trying to stay modest. I've only been out with the baby a handful of times since he was born 7 weeks ago, and I've been able to time it so I only feed him right before and right after we're away from home. 

And don’t get me started on BURPING! 

But this is my blog so I’ll get myself started on burping. 

It is my least favorite part of raising a baby. Why?

You never know how long it’s going to last or if they have more burps in there. I’m already tired after breastfeeding and carrying my baby every 2-3 hours. He’s usually screaming and writhing in pain, and it takes so much muscular strength to wrestle him and keep him safe while trying to burp him. And sometimes, when I think I’m done and put him down so I can go to bed, he randomly cries a while later, and I have to get out of bed just to burp him. It's not uncommon for me to get out of bed 4 times in an hour in the middle of the night to try to burp him because he's grunting so loud. 

Sleep deprivation makes me exceedingly grumpy about all this hassle of breastfeeding but I still choose it because I really hate pumping breastmilk. This 2nd time around with a newborn, I'm realizing that just really hate the newborn stage. Don't miss it, can't wait til it passes...as I smother my baby with kisses. My love for him is the only thing that carries me through! And also knowing that this is TEMPORARY. 

So much of motherhood, I've found, is managing my own emotions from boiling over and damaging my interactions with my children and husband (see blog post "Remembering to Remember"). 

And despite all my griping, I always try to come back to gratitude.  

I'm grateful for two healthy beautiful children.

I'm grateful for my healthy body that can feed and care for them. 

I'm grateful for a loving hardworking husband.

I'm grateful for a comfortable safe clean home.

I'm grateful this newborn phase is temporary.