Real Talk Mothering

Nobody prepares you for how complicated and difficult breastfeeding is. It’s supposedly the most natural thing in the world next to childbirth but there are so many nuanced things that make it complicated.   First of all, women’s bodies are absolutely amazing. There’s that meme that says -  We can make a baby, have a baby, and feed a baby…all without getting out of bed.   Once we deliver a baby, our hormones signal our mammary glands to start producing milk, working in partnership with the baby’s sucking reflex to get it out and flowing. Apparently, in addition to all the necessary nutrients the baby needs to grow every part of its body, our milk also provides the antibodies needed to protect against diseases. It also naturally increases or decreases depending on how much the baby demands by sucking.  There's no denying that this is all amazing. Of course, many people choose to use formula to feed their babies for various reasons, or a combination of breastfeeding an...

Taking care of a newborn would be a cinch if I didn’t also have to take care of a demanding toddler. Everyday is an exercise in practicing patience and reframing my perspective to have a positive attitude and build up the mental and physical stamina to meet the demands of the day.   During this new period of transitioning to a mother of 2, I work hard to constantly remind myself of these truths: The main reason I wanted to have another child was to give my toddler a sibling, a lifelong friend.   This phase is temporary and a tiny blip in the scheme of eternal life and my relationship with my children. I will have my free time again to enjoy my hobbies and develop my talents. I will be able to return to a full-time career and travel to professional conferences. I will have my body back again and not have my wardrobe be dictated by breastfeeding needs. My husband and I will regain our freedom to travel and our spontaneity to go on dates. I will be able to sleep the whole night a...

…a mother of a newborn (4 weeks old) and toddler. I know this is a common experience for many mothers but I wanted to record my own unique experience.   ***Disclaimers: I know I am privileged in many ways and a lot of moms have it way harder than this. I know I am privileged to be able to stay home with my children and depend on my husband’s single income to support all of us. I know some women are single moms who have to work multiple jobs and don’t get to see much of their children. I know some moms have more than 2 kids to balance and it is way more chaotic and they’re very burned out and don’t even have time to write down their thoughts and experiences. I know I shouldn’t complain because I conceived these 2 children naturally without having to pay for expensive fertility treatments. I know I “asked for this” because I chose to have 2 children with my husband.   NEVERTHELESS, this stage of motherhood is still hard and I am still tired and imperfect, and I have the urge to ...

Coming home from the hospital with a toddler, my mom, husband, and baby…is all about balancing meeting everyone’s needs. It's a complex new dynamic of navigating ever-fluctuating moods, energy levels and bodily functions.  We all have the basic needs to sleep, eat food, drink water, use the bathroom, and do personal hygiene.  We all have social needs of connection, attention, and appreciation from each other and with other family and friends.  We all have physical needs for movement and recreation (especially our toddler).  T he adults each have work to attend to - my husband's job and church calling, my business and church calling, mom’s writing association and insurance sales - and intellectual stimulation needs like reading news and for me, writing my thoughts.  My husband and I have spiritual needs to read scriptures and pray together everyday.  There are communal household needs like washing dishes, doing laundry, tidying up, buying and prepping...

I have 2 children. Their birth experiences could not have been more different - one was medicated and one was all natural. I thought it'd be helpful to share both so others can be more informed about their birth options.  But first! I want to dedicate this blog post to Jessica Pumple  whose Youtube channel Pregnancy and Postpartum TV made all the difference in my 2nd much improved birth and recovery experience. I discovered her channel about 4 months after my first baby was born and the simple exercises shrunk my belly down to pre-pregnancy size by 7 months postpartum. There are way more videos/resources on her channel and website than I could ever use, so I pretty much stuck to her channel except for this PopSugar pregnancy workout I used in my 1st pregnancy and these other channels I discovered in the last month of my 2nd pregnancy that were helpful:  Bridget Teyler Diana in the Pink Sarah Lavonne It is so easy to be overwhelmed by all the advice out there so I only u...

I’m 10 days into the newborn stage with my second child and it’s my least favorite stage.   I honestly cannot understand how anyone can say, “enjoy the newborn stage!” I love my baby - this precious beautiful new human under my care. I love my husband - the hardworking devoted man who is trying his best everyday to support me and our family. I love my toddler - who is brilliantly hilarious and adorable, and adjusting pretty well to her world shift. I love my mom - who so willingly disrupted her own busy schedule for weeks to help me through this transition. I love my community of generous kind friends and family who are supporting us through meals, gifts, prayers, texts, and calls.   I love my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ for blessing me with so many prayers answered, tender mercies, comforts, and conveniences.   But I’m too tired and in too much pain to enjoy the newborn stage, like so many people are encouraging me to do. I want it to pass as quickly as possi...