A Tale of Two Births

I have 2 children. Their birth experiences could not have been more different - one was medicated and one was all natural. I thought it'd be helpful to share both so others can be more informed about their birth options. 

But first! I want to dedicate this blog post to Jessica Pumple whose Youtube channel Pregnancy and Postpartum TV made all the difference in my 2nd much improved birth and recovery experience. I discovered her channel about 4 months after my first baby was born and the simple exercises shrunk my belly down to pre-pregnancy size by 7 months postpartum. There are way more videos/resources on her channel and website than I could ever use, so I pretty much stuck to her channel except for this PopSugar pregnancy workout I used in my 1st pregnancy and these other channels I discovered in the last month of my 2nd pregnancy that were helpful: 

1. Bridget Teyler
2. Diana in the Pink
3. Sarah Lavonne

It is so easy to be overwhelmed by all the advice out there so I only used Jessica's channel for exercise routines, and turned to the others for additional advice on other topics like what to pack for the hospital and when to go to the hospital, as well as to compare advice for breathing and positions just to see if there was anything drastically different.

Thank you Jessica, Bridget, Diana, and Sarah!!!!

To sum up the main things I learned that empowered me to choose an all natural birth:

• Certain yoga poses help position baby for birth
• Avoid birthing on your back because that works against gravity, makes your tailbone close off your birth canal, and restricts pelvis movement 
• Getting an epidural requires you to lie on your back the whole time; better to go all natural on your side or hands and knees 
• Our bodies are built to birth and will push the baby out without us making it happen; the best thing to do is keep breathing through it
• Make more relaxed low vowel sounds vs. high-pitched screaming to drive energy downward

I thought the easiest way to compare the 2 births would be in a table so here it is:

	1st Pregnancy/Birth - 2021	2nd Pregnancy/Birth - 2024
Medication	Epidural	All Natural
Season	Summer	Winter
Age	32	35
Baby’s Sex	Girl	Boy
Exercise during pregnancy	Weights first half of pregnancy, daily morning walks 2nd half	Daily Pilates/weights/cardio 1st & 2nd trimesters, daily yoga 3rd trimester
Weight gain	44 lbs, swollen	37 lbs
Education	“The Motherly Guide to Becoming Mama” book	Motherly book + Youtube videos (see above)
Lifestyle	Sedentary full-time job	Active toddler care
Mindset	“I don’t trust my body, I need a lot of medical interventions to get thru this, avoid all pain.”	“I’m built to birth, let my body do the work, pain is part of the process to meet my baby.”
Duration	17 hour labor (7pm - noon)	6 hour labor (midnight - 6am)
Position	Strapped down on my back in bed, catheter inserted for urinating	Portable baby monitor on belly, walked around with IV pole, hip circles & bouncing on ball, deep squats, hands & knees cat cow, lunges, frequent bathroom trips by myself
Baby’s Arrival	1 week before due date	2 weeks before due date
Early Labor	12 hrs of contractions at home overnight, arrived at hospital 8 cm dilated w/ strong contractions, water broke at hospital - big gush	Water broke at home - small gush, arrived at hospital 5 cm dilated w/ no contractions
Active Labor	Nurse and husband helped me push over 3ish hours while I pulled 2 bars with my arms	My body pushed in 90 minutes, on my side, then last few minutes on my back while holding husband's hand and squeezing a hair brush
Tearing	3rd degree tear, couldn't feel stitching, sitz bath for weeks	1st degree tear, painful stitching despite 2 pain meds, bleeding for 2 weeks
Consciousness	Fainted afterwards from hunger & muscle exhaustion during first attempt to stand	Alert afterwards, ate big breakfast then walked to bathroom on first attempt to stand
Hospital stay	2 nights	1 night
Driving	Couldn’t drive for 6 weeks	Could drive in a couple days

What was most astonishing to me was the active labor stage.

During my first birth, I was strapped down on my back and told to push the baby out by curling into a ball. It was exhausting because I pulled 2 metal bars with my hands while my husband used both arms to pull me into a ball for about 3 hours. Meanwhile, the nurse used her fingers to massage around the inside of my vagina so I could direct my pushing because I was mostly numbed by the epidural. The baby's hair was sticking out and her head went in and out for a couple hours. Then the doctor came in to help me with the final pushes but told me to pause pushing and didn't explain why (cord was wrapped around baby's neck). At some point, they put an oxygen mask on me because baby's heartrate had dropped. I tore a lot (3rd degree is one step from the worst kind - 4th degree) and didn't feel the doctor sew me up but it was a long painful healing process where I had to use a sitz bath everyday for weeks afterwards, which was really annoying because it took 25 minutes, precious time I could have spent sleeping. Oh, and I was so exhausted from pulling/pushing for 3 hours that I fainted when I tried to stand up after birth and couldn't drive for 6 weeks! 

My 2nd birth was much faster and less complicated. My body's instincts really took over once I had prepared myself mentally (by being calm and trusting) and physically (with stretching, strengthening, and breathing). During the first 3 hours of early labor at the hospital, I walked around and did yoga movements without pain or contractions, and then in the last 90 minutes, the contractions went into overdrive 1-2 minutes apart and were very painful. I started to question whether I could handle this without medication but of course it was too late by then. After about an hour of breathing through strong contractions on my side, I wanted to birth on my hands and knees like Jessica advised but I felt I was too weak to hold myself up and the nurse said I had to be on my back to measure my cervix. 

The most amazing part happened right after she measured me at 8 cm. I felt my uterus muscles ripple up and down and my husband could see my body literally change shape as I felt my body's urge to push. The nurse had gone out to get supplies, thinking we still had a while, but during my 2nd urge to push, the baby's head popped out with no one else in the room except my husband, who exclaimed "Oh my gosh!" Then 5 nurses rushed in and told me to push and not stop pushing. I laughed in my head because I hadn't done any conscious pushing until then. I pushed twice and the baby came all the way out! He had a lot of bruising on his face from the quick push but he was otherwise healthy! I didn't feel the rush of endorphins afterwards like I'd heard about, just the strange kind of painful feeling of the void in my uterus. I wasn't ready to hold my baby but kept squeezing my husband's hand and my hair brush. I made sure I ate a big meal after birth so I wouldn't be too weak and faint. They told me I could drive in a few days, whenever I felt comfortable enough. 

The other painful parts were - 

• The 3 pokes it took to finally get an IV in my tiny crooked veins (it took the nurse 10 times during my 1st birth and I had bruises up and down both arms!)
• The stitching of my 1st degree tear during my 2nd birth - I felt every single time the needle went through despite pain meds in my perineum and through my IV
• The strong uterus contractions every time I breastfed
• The pushes on my uterus by the nurses to get blood out

There's no way we women could endure this kind of pain if it were not for the love we have for our babies.