The Vicious Cycle & Virtuous Cycle of Parenting
I used to be really annoyed by my children's bad behavior or moods but I've noticed that I am the main factor in determining the interactions and mood in our home, and there are only 2 main directions to go. It's as simple as black or white and self-perpetuating.
The Vicious Cycle
My thoughts - You’re annoying me, be quiet, leave me alone, I don’t want to be around you, I don’t like you, you’re being bad
My mood - impatient, irritated, exacerbated
Their behavior - whining, crying, disobeying, screaming, kicking, running away, talking back
The Virtuous Cycle
My thoughts - I love you, I like being around you, I want to help you, you’re lovable, I cherish you, you’re a good child, you're just learning and trying to express yourself
My mood - curious, helpful, patient
Their behavior - cooperative, playful, happy, affectionate, helpful
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Parenting is the ultimate self-improvement project. I have to be really self-aware and intentional in following the virtuous cycle because the vicious cycle is the default when I'm tired, hungry, or just wanting to do something else besides tend to my children.
Thankfully, I can always apologize and ask for forgiveness. I can repent and pray for more love and patience and wisdom. Each day is a new day and I can try again to try harder.
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