Real Talk Mothering

I was never one of those girls whose biggest wish was to be a mom, who dreamt of full-time homemaking and childrearing. A conversation with a mom friend recently reminded me of my reasons for choosing to being a stay-at-home mom. It's interesting to think about the various scenarios moms find themselves in... (*When I say "work", I mean paid employment by an external party. I believe raising children is the most important and hardest work there is.) Some women must work full-time to help pay for (or be the sole provider) necessities like the mortgage, car payments, utilities, and food. Some women feel some cultural/religious/societal obligation to give up or bypass educational and professional pursuits to focus on raising children. Some women choose to work full-time because they feel happier and more fulfilled doing so. Some women figure out some arrangement of part-time work and part-time childcare by others to try to have the best of both worlds. Some women like me cho...

After 6 months of thinking "I hate my life, even though I chose this and wished for it for over a decade", crying often from feeling overwhelmed/exhausted/frustrated, and fuming with rage mostly towards my toddler...some friends suggested that I might have   postpartum depression (PPD) . I'd never experienced depression before so I wasn't sure but I looked up the symptoms and I had the ones I listed above.  There are multiple factors contributing to my PPD (hormone fluctuations, no paternity leave, the constraining long summer heat, lots of home improvement projects) but I knew the main issue extreme sleep deprivation from getting up 3-5 times a night to feed my baby. I knew this was not sustainable. So I finally invested in a sleep training program that many friends have recommended -  Taking Cara Babies . I started watching the videos and very gradually/gently implementing her system of strategies. I recommend it to every mother of young children! My baby's slee...

Going from 1 to 2 kids is no joke. Looking back, I wanted to share the thoughts I recorded while in the midst of postpartum depression (PPD) so I don't forget how low I was and what I had to overcome to start enjoying my children the way I envisioned it - as a patient, playful, loving, happy mother. The thoughts below are in no particular order, just thoughts that kept running thru my mind: No parent can avoid the awful tantrum stage of toddlerhood, especially if a new sibling is introduced. I've noticed that my thoughts towards my toddler directly influence her behavior: "You’re annoying me, be quiet, leave me alone, I don’t want to be around you, I don’t like you, you’re being bad" >>> whining, crying, thrashing, disobeying, screaming "I love you, I like being around you, I want to help you, you’re lovable, I cherish you, you’re a good child" >>> quickly calming, cooperation, better communication   Mom rage - yes I have it. I feel like I...