The Terrible and Terrific Two's

It’s true, the twos are terrible - absolutely maddening, frustrating, and infuriating. 

The twos are also terrific - absolutely astounding, delightful, and magical. 

Parenthood is full of paradoxes. This is not a new topic, just my take on it. 

My toddler will be 3 in a couple months. She is a tornado of paradoxes. Let's start with the negatives, though I've read that what's frustrating to us is just a natural and usually healthy developmental process of them exploring the world, understanding themselves, and testing boundaries. 

But still, these are things she does that drive me insane. Some of these I'm not sure if it's a common toddler thing or her specific personality. 

• Irrational - She refuses to do things right after she tells us she needs to (pee, eat, etc.).
• Defiant - She'll give a super high pitched screech when she doesn't want to do something, sometimes waking the baby. And her default answer to any question is a loud "No!"
• Slow - Whenever it's time to leave for some scheduled event, she finds something new she wants to do or play with. She refuses to get out of her sleep sack/bed/room for a long time after every sleep.
• Repetitive - She says the same things dozens of times in a row, and often wants/needs repeated acknowledgment from us. 
• Unreliable - She keeps negotiating everything we ask her to do (i.e. “read one more book”) but doesn’t keep her side of the agreement (i.e. "then go to bed!").
• Sensitive - She cries about any little discomfort to her body like when she bumps against a chair or when we detangle her hair. 
• Whiny - She uses that aggravating tone to ask for something when she's over-tired, hangry, or just cranky.  
• Clingy - She always wants me in the same room and cries for me to "come back" even when I tell her I'm just going to get something real quick. 
• Messy - She gets water everywhere when washing hands or bathing, and loves rubbing food all over her hands. 
• Fickle - She'll ask for something and rejects it after I get it for her (i.e. heat up pasta, pour water), or says she needs to potty then immediately screams no when I go take her. 
• Demanding - She likes things just so and rages when they aren't arranged exactly how she wants them and bosses me around. 
• Lying - She makes up stuff all the time (i.e. that she's bleeding when she's not, pooped in her pants when she didn't, etc.) and we have to figure out the truth. 

Imagine living with this creature everyday while caring for a baby. It's hard to stay calm and patient.  It'd be darn impossible if this age didn't also have some mind-blowing developments with frequent milestones (which, of course, I've recorded in writing). I've been told many of these are not normal for her age and she's quite bright and advanced. 

• Rhyming - She comes up with hilarious and non-obvious combinations like "9:24 and dinosaur" and "fawn and butter pecan."
• Spelling - I got her these 3-4 letter word puzzles (pig, jam, cake, lion, etc.) and she's also learned to spell her name and other simples words like "moo" and "boo". What's remarkable is she's able to sound out words and make up her own spellings like LDR for "letter" and NBR for "number"!
• Synonyms - My husband taught her this and she'll bring them up frequently like "sodden and soggy are synonyms" when we change her diaper. 
• Opposites - She's already bored of the opposite game when I ask her things like "what the opposite of huge (tiny), mean (kind), and sleeping (awake)". 
• Syllables - She's still grasping this one so I use my fingers to count when I teach her the number of syllables in a word but she's getting it, like how each of the names in our family have a different number of syllables. 
• Alliteration - My husband taught her this too and I thought it was too advanced but she got it right away and loves coming up with 2 words that alliterate like "funny fox" and "Eddie elephant". 
• Creativity - I've taught her all the nursery songs I know and from books we have, and she loves putting new lyrics to the melodies. She loves putting new consonants on existing words and watching me make an incredulous face of "that's not a real word!" 
• Imagination - She is so good at taking a toy/object and using it in a creative way, like taking a hoop meant for tossing bean bags in and putting it on the ground to pretend it's a pool of water, then she'll take off her socks and pretend to splash her feet in it. Or taking a little toy cup and peg to pretend she's mixing batter for vanilla cake. 
• Empathy - She latches onto negative feelings in books and seems to really feel the sadness/anger/loneliness/disappointment of the characters, like saying the greedy lion is also making her cry. 
• Helpfulness - She'll run and get me Kleenex or a breast pad when I'm stuck sitting down breastfeeding, sort laundry into different piles for each person, put wrappers in the trash can, and clean socks/underwear in their baskets. 
• Inclusivity - Sometimes I'll forget to mention the baby and she always does when we're talking about our family. She mimics me when we're eating at the table and the baby is fussing on the blanket, and she'll ask "Are you lonely?" 
• Independence - She's practiced putting on her socks and pants by herself, even though they're sometimes backwards and inside out. 
• Self-Love - When I ask if she loves mommy and daddy, she'll say "Yea, and myself." 

I remind myself and her all the time - often verbally - that I love her. Because I really do. She just drives me crazy sometimes, almost everyday. But love is the only force strong enough to get me through these toddler years and I think I have enough.